Camel Cuest

You are trapped in a desert. You have little food and water left. But you do have the following items:

• A camel.
  


• A cheap mobile phone.


• A saw.
  


• And many wireless electric wood/metalworking tools.


• A wireless blender/food processor.


• A basket full of tomatoes! (They haven't shrivelled up yet. Still edible)


• 200 mL of water


• A fire lighter (unlimited uses)


• A bucket full of oil...


• Unlimited rope.
  


• The clothes you are wearing RIGHT NOW
  

There is also the following around you: Sand. Loads of it. Cactus plants and flowers. Desert animals - snakes, ants, lizards... Anything else? Rocks. You can choose to use all, some or none of the above. You may choose to escape the desert, die, produce the most amazing/wacky things as possible, and be creative. What would you do?

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This is Renee, I'm going to tame the camel and ride it with the rope and then I'll ride till I find a cave (whatever, its a cave-y desert) and then I'll eat desert chameleons, drink water from cactuses and be king of the castle/cave for a while then ride the donkey out of the desert and go home. I ment camel. But you know that.

This is Signor Banjo. First off, I'm going to correct the mistakes above. Cacti and meant. Well, first off, I'd set the tomatoes on fire. Then I'd set the camel on fire. Then the lizards. Then the oil. Then tie the rope to the camel. Then set the camel on fire. Then set the cacti on fire. Then set the rocks on fire. Then set the water on fire. Then take off my clothes. Then set my clothes on fire. Then set the food and tools on fire. Then set the desert fire. Then I'll go home. And set it on fire.

This is JM. And I can do a lot of really.... violent things with the above. You could let the camel drink the flammable oil, then light one of your clothes and feed it to the camel... Shield yourself and enjoy the fireworks! :D Walk around the desert to pick up the remains.. Then grab a blender (not by the blade) to make camel ... broth.. or whatever they call blended up camel offal. Next, using my newly acquired knowledge from MasterClass, I may clean out the camel intestines with my 200mL of water, then using my fingers, squeeze the blended camel into the sausage. Make sure you squeeze it all the way through.... or so. Make a pit in the ground (using.. anything) and use remaining oil + fire lighter to light a cooking flame. Using one of those metal working tools, cut the bucket so the flat bottom circular bit remains. (Like the sides of a cyclinder). Using that metal plate (or plastic), cook on, top of cooking fire, the sausages until golden brown.. As they are cooking, using a sharp edge of the remaining oil bucket, make a makeshift knife and cut tomatoes... Also cook. And that's a meal of camel sausages with a tomatoey lunch! Enjoy your meal!
(Please tell me if I should stop... using my imagination for.. violent sick things.)

Okay, this is Osborn (Signor Banjo) again. WHO AGREES WITH ME - JM IS WEIIIIRDDD AND SCERRY! the above post is his.

Uh, no. I didn't write the above ^ JM

Okay, wtf is with JM. I wrote the above, I'm signor banjo again here, if this is too confusing. He wrote the post with the tomateoy lunch T_T.

Everyone give me a vote. Additionaly, everyone tell us what you would do!